I wish I didn’t have anxiety when my baby wakes up from her naps. When I already don’t sleep fully at night, I’m much more sensitive to crying and screaming, and I’m afraid of what I could say or do that I’ll regret. So I have to fully mentally prepare myself for what’s to come. I don’t like that I think this way, but I’m just trying to survive the best way I know how. 
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Praying for some rest for you. Do you have someone that could sit with the baby for a little while so you could take a nap and reset?