The early weeks with my baby were both organized and chaotic. By “organized,” I mean that I wrote down the times she ate and how much she ate. I also tracked the ounces I pumped during each session, and I was usually able to make enough for her. Still, I wanted to produce more to ensure she always had enough milk in the fridge, since she was mostly bottle fed with breast milk. I also kept track of whether she was having the right color and texture of stool, constantly checking to make sure everything was normal. On top of that, I found myself frequently searching what I was supposed to do with my newborn and what she should be doing at this stage and what she shouldn’t be doing. I tried, little by little, to keep the house in order like washing dishes and preventing clean and dirty clothes from piling up. The chaotic part, though, was all the planning and organizing happening in my head. From the outside, you can only see so much of what’s really going on inside.
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