I always hear moms talk about how special motherhood is, but for me, I usually only realize it when I see my daughter interacting with her father or other relatives and friends. Most of the time, it’s hard to feel it in the moment because I’m so focused on what’s happening right then. For example, when she cries in the middle of the night and I wake up to make a bottle or breastfeed, my main thought is, “How long until I can go back to sleep?” Or when she’s playing, I think about how much time I have to get things done before she needs me again. Everything feels fast paced. But when someone else is holding her, everything slows down. I notice her smiles, her curious eyes, her laugh and I realize how quickly she’s changing in ways I don’t always see when I’m with her all the time. Being a mother feels like juggling everything at once, yet there’s an expectation to be okay internally, even when it’s a constant struggle just to feel okay and be happy.
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I feel you. hugs