#momcozy

The best parenting advice I’ve learned: ask for help.

Support makes the hard days easier.

And nobody should do it all alone. :heart:

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Thank you for sharing this mama, I really needed to hear it. I am a 24/7 mom to two little ones, one is 3 years old and the other is 15 months, and honestly it has been so hard for me to ask for help. We are far from family in a city where we are practically on our own, my husband works all the time and we use his only day off for my little one’s therapies. I really miss having physical support from someone, but since we are far away I am the one who is with them all the time, there are days when I collapse and all I do is cry a little in the bathroom to let out all the stress and tension I carry in my body, and even though I sometimes feel unfair to myself it helps me a lot to be able to keep going. Lately I haven’t had as much pressure even though my little one is still teething, but I feel very calm and proud to read you.

​I have traveled a long road since taking care of my first baby who was a preemie until today that he is 3 years old, and that makes me feel very proud of myself even though there are days when I collapse and that is okay. I learned here in the community that motherhood is about being present, not about being a perfect mom. Before I used to want to have everything under control and never ask for help, but here I realized that my well-being matters too. Thank you for sharing this, I really needed to read it​:white_heart:

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It must be really challenging doing it all on your own! It’s hard when you don’t have someone around to help out during the day. I know how it is in a sense…even though we live with my mother-in-law, she is unable to provide care because she is 84 and can’t stay awake long enough, nor does she have the physical strength. One thing I’ve noticed is that when you have to do so much on your own, it may break you down sometimes, but it does make you stronger over time. Like you said, no mother is perfect. It’s all about being present for you children, and it sounds like you are doing such a great job of that!:heart:

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It’s always nice to have support any way you can get it

Your well being ABSOLUTELY matters!!! You are doing an amazing job and you are so strong for handling all that you do!! I hope that you are able to find more time for yourself because it is so important for you to reset because you can’t pour from an empty cup. I know it’s hard to do especially not having family around to help and I know the feeling of not wanting to have to ask for help all too well as well. I am trying to learn that I can’t do it all and it’s ok to ask for help too but it is really hard. We kind of have similar situations I am a 27/7 mom as well we have 3 kids and my husbands family lives 45 min away and mine is 2 hrs away and my husband only has 4 days a month off so we try to make the most of it when he is home. I hope for more time for yall and rest!

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1000 percent ! There is no shame in asking for support and help!!! I think it makes you stronger letting go and letting others step in to help you be a better version of you

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You are just the best! I love your responses

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Hi mama, thank you so much for your words; they really made me feel so much better. I admire you so much and I’m so proud of you, because taking care of your 84-year-old mother-in-law is such a huge challenge. A while back, I had to care for my grandmother while I was pregnant and also looking after my son, and although I loved being with family, I was absolutely exhausted. It was so much physical and mental weight that I actually had a threatened miscarriage because of it, so I completely understand the pressure you’re under.​You are so right: this is making us stronger, even on the days we want to give up. We are doing an amazing job for our kids! What’s important is being present, but we also have to remember that our own well-being matters. I know it’s hard to prioritize ourselves, but sometimes just taking 5 minutes to shower in peace is enough to reset. Let’s keep going​:white_heart::people_hugging:

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Hi mama Thank you so much for your words, they really touched my heart. It’s such a relief to read that I’m not the only one struggling with asking for help. I understand you perfectly because it’s so hard when you feel like you have to do it all, especially with three kids and being so far from your family. I really admire how you manage to make the most of the time when your husband is home. Thank you for reminding me that our well-being matters too, since we sometimes forget that in the middle of all the chaos! Let’s try to take those little breaks, we definitely deserve them. Sending you a huge hug, we’re in this together!"

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Oh, thank you so much, Jessie! It’s so sweet of you to say that, you really made my day. I love that we can connect like this and support each other, it’s honestly the best part of this community! Sending you a huge hug

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You’re right, it can be so hard to take the time for ourselves when we are taking care of everyone else. One thing I have been doing the last few months that has really made a difference is washing my face before I go to bed and applying a face cream regimen. It feels so simple, yet makes me feel like I just had a mini spa treatment.

It can definitely take a lot out of me sometimes, but we manage. That’s scary you had a threatened miscarriage. I’m so glad everything is okay! You are such a strong woman!

Sending one right back at you!!!

This is one of the things I struggle with the most is accepting help. This is not only just with being a mom but even my professional life. Now I have learned it’s okay to ask for help and it does not make me weak. More can be done with help than without is and often times much easier. Thanks for the post as a reminder for those who need it. :sunflower::blush:

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