A support I wish I had was from my friends. Pre baby, everyone was so happy for me and my husband. Then my daughter came and everyone disappeared. It was the oddest thing. We were not invited anywhere and no one had time to see or check in on us. I felt like I was on an island.
I then reconnected with friends that are moms but that was hard too. Everything I was going through I felt like was an inconvenience talking about “oh yeah, my baby was colic too” or “yeah, that’s not really bad, just wait until…”. I don’t think the lack of support was intentional at all, but I think the brain protects you from trauma and misplaced how bad newborn days were… so moms that have not had babies for a while just have a prettier memory.
then I found the support I needed with groups like this. With mom’s that are going though the same thing REAL time…no more “oh yeah that’s not really a big deal” or “just wait”… and more I’m there too and it’s awful…or I have this tip…
I feel this, I moved to a new city 2 years before having my baby. No friends here, the ones I had disconnected and never even asked about my baby or me.
Then around 4 coworkers had babies and they all go out on play dates and I feel so left out, we were not friends but I thought we could build a friendship because our babies are months apart.
I feel it mostly for my baby, because he is growing lonely, no baby friends to interact and that breaks my mama heart.
This is too sweet of a picture. I’m embarrassed to say I have done that to a friend many moons ago. It came a time where we didn’t share the same things we once did and brakes in communication got longer and longer and then not at all. I have regretted doing that. I’m so sorry you experienced this as well. We don’t know until we are in those shoes sometimes. I’m glad you came out on the other side all my love to you.
I completely relate I used to have pregnant friends when I was pregnant too and from one moment to another I felt so excluded by them even though they were first time moms too what I imagined was sharing tips and expanding my support network a bit more being far away in another city I never imagined how much motherhood would change people’s way of thinking now we simply see each other but there is no longer that same connection we used to have before when we were pregnant I really would have loved to have my friends closer in those moments now that my kids are older I have tried to maintain communication with them but definitely everyone has different plans and different ways of thinking so now I am happy raising my kids alone obviously I need a support network and distraction but right now I am simply a mom surviving motherhood
Ugh I feel this so deeply. It feel so hurtful when someone around you has a close age baby and you dreamed how great it would be and playdates and then nothing.
Yessss! Once you become a mom, I def think you can look back and think, wow I was that person too. The challenges of motherhood and postpartum are so taboo, you just don’t know until you are a mom!
