Anyone else dealing with depression and feeling guilty about it? I have always wanted to be a mother. I was told basically from puberty it would be next to impossible to have a baby, and then three months into trying we unexpectedly got a positive test. I have never been more excited in my life. Now with all the postpartum stuff, im dealing with depression and a lot of anxiety, especially nightmares about my son dying/being taken away from me and constantly waking up to check that he’s still breathing. I even get freaked out at night that my husband isn’t breathing. I’mseeing a professional, but just want to know if anyone else is experiencing anything like this…
I wanted so so badly to be a mother and now I feel so selfish and evil for feeling depressed when I’ve literally gotten everything I ever asked for and more
I’m glad that you are getting the help you need ppd and anxiety is so rough! You are not alone I wake up to check on my baby all the time to make sure she is still breathing and always have a fear of something happening to my kids or husband. Praying that it gets better for you! I know it’s hard
Hi! I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I dealt with this when my baby was born for the first few months. We tried for a baby for 10 years, and finally got one. I’m almost 40, and getting to old to have another baby, so this is my only shot at motherhood. I lost my mother a year before she was born, so I have a fear of death and losing my loved ones. I can’t tell you how many times I was afraid my perfectly healthy baby would stop breathing or that I would drop her or that a number of horrible things would happen to her. The anxiety was the most I’ve ever felt in my life. It has gotten better with time, but I still get these horrible images of her getting hurt. She’s 15 months old now. If you feel like this for too long, I would see a doctor because it is no way to live. I know I wish I had gone to a doctor for help. It’s not selfish to feel like you do. It’s the opposite actually. You just want to make sure everyone safe
So coming from another mother who also had a unkind postpartum and felt guilty about just now this is incredibly normal! You are transitioning into something new and incredibly important and your brain is on high alert that’s just nature’s way. And with all that can bring so much anxiety and with that anxiety and being on high alert and having your hormones constantly fluctuating it is something that happens! It’s hard and dark but you aren’t alone and you aren’t EVIL! Your a new mother who transitioning into her role ! I know it doesn’t seem like it now but it does get better !!! And if anything you are an amazing mother doing amazing things right now give your self some grace you are doing great
My inlaws were in a similar situation, 10 years and a lot of losses came before my hisband and then his brother and his sister had a twin they lost. So that definitely plays into it, I feel like I need to do better and handle things better than my mother-in-law did. Not that she didnt do an amazing job raising the love of my life, I just feel like I owe it to her and to her first grandbaby. And my mother hasn’t been doing well health wise since I was about 11, so I’m terrified she doesn’t have as long left as I’d hope and this might be the only grandbaby she ever gets to meet and I’m only 28 Thank you for sharing your story, I am so sorry you went through all of that at once, but what a blessing to have gotten your little one and to be able to share and support other moms like me. Thank you Thank you Thank you and congrats on making it to the 15mo range, what a glorious time for huge, exciting developments!
Thank you for sharing your story too! I’m sorry to hear that your inlaws went through losing so many people in the time and that your mother is struggling with her health. It’s so hard when it comes to our moms. My Mom was my best friend. When we deal with losing a loved one, it definitely plays into that fear of losing the ones we love. It sounds like you have an awesome family, and I know your mom is so happy to spend time with her precious grandson He is such a blessing and I am so glad you were able to have a baby when you thought you couldn’t. Youre such an amazing mother!!
Thank you for sharing your story, I am so sorry you went through all of that at once, but what a blessing to have gotten your little one and to be able to share and support other moms like me. Thank you Thank you Thank you 
and congrats on making it to the 15mo range, what a glorious time for huge, exciting developments!