If there’s one thing I wish I could tell myself before becoming a mom is that I was preparing for the wrong things. Those toys, clothes, paint colors, and honestly his whole room went out the window when my son was born.
I want to start this by saying my son was unplanned but is the most amazing thing to have happened to me.
We learned about my pregnancy when my fiance and I were at rock bottom. We could not make enough money to pay our bills, our family was having to cover quite a few hundreds of dollars a month for us. Our cars were absolutely falling apart and the last thing on our minds was building a family. Welp in January 2025 my doctor called to say I was pregnant! We were both extremely excited but I was also really worried about our lives. The biggest thing I wish I learned was to live in the moment
that’s really hard for me when I have memory issues. I desperately want photos and proof of something because more than likely I won’t remember it.
That first sonogram was at 7 weeks and they refused giving us the pictures. I was a wreck and already was not living in the moment with my child. I wanted the proof in my hands. About a month later my older sister found out she’s pregnant! Mind you she’s doing very well for herself
she ends up buying me lots of things that she wants too just so I had the same luxury as her 
I will never be able to repay her 
Before my fiance and I got together I had a great job and was doing very well for myself so to be pregnant with my first child and unable to get the luxury items or even basic items I needed was really really hard on me. It was really hard for me to not be envious of my sister and how she could buy whatever she needed when she needed it. I couldn’t even buy something for my nausea. It was really hard not to compare myself to her and to stay living in this moment.
I managed to find a brand new crib for free and got a BUNCH of free things off facebook so I figured I was doing great for my child. All these toys, crib, clothes and everything I figured my baby would need starting off. I felt really good about our lives at this time! We moved back in with my mother to help our finances and to get more help with the initial part of my child’s life. We made his room up and had a set plan on how we were going to parent but neither have e
ver been used!!
My child had pretty severe acid reflux. The second you laid him down he would spit up and choke. Soooooo from day one to now 7 months he has slept with me and has not once touched his crib.
He had outgrown every free piece of clothing I found within a month. He hardly spends time in his room. All of his toys are now in the livingroom and live there
I felt so much pressure to have this checklist of things done and I don’t even use over half of it!!
Now what I should have been looking into was his doctors, the procedures he was going to get, and just being ACTUALLY informed on my choices. I’ve let 2 doctors now push me into things I was uncomfortable with for my son. I gave him formula before leaving the hospital even though I told his doctor he was going to be a strictly breastfed baby. Another doctor fear trapped me into giving him a lumbar puncture when the actual percentage of successful tests is not worth the terror and guilt I felt giving in..
If I could go back I would give up being prepared and stressing about what items I need and just enjoy my pregnancy. I’d also research the hell out of my kids doctors and the correct way you do a circ
needless to say we ended up in the er for that mistake
I wish I didn’t stress about the small things and actually lived for us