One thing to avoid any postpartum depression is: you don’t have to do everything yourself. But when you’re exhausted, feeding the baby, pumping, laundry, it’s actually hard to figure out what to ask for.
Especially that men usually cannot guess what we are thinking about, so my opinion is that try being specific. Ask someone to bring you dinner. Ask your partner to wash the bottles. Ask a someone to hold the baby and directly tell them I need a break!
And if someone offers to help, you don’t have to feel guilty about accepting it. Previously when someone hold baby for me and I felt guilty that I was lie on the bed, but now I feel at ease lol.
I used to think being a good mom meant being able to handle everything on my own. Now I think a good support system and happy mom is also important.
Hope every mom can find a little happiness in the beautiful, messy, exhausting, and unforgettable journey of motherhood.
It is very important to not feel bad about accepting help. I’m the type of person that likes to do everything by themselves because I feel like asking for help is weak, but it is not.
I agree that we don’t need to feel guilty, but it requires some time to get used to it. It is nature that mom spontaneously wants to do everything to the baby by their own, but mom needs to get enough supports also!
I think the same way! That being a good mom means doing everything on my own. I’m still trying to get out of this thought process. It’s hard to let anyone watch my daughter, even thought she’s 19 months old now and is pretty easy to watch if you play with her or have the tv on. All the what ifs still run through my head. I feel like I’m the only one 100% capable of watching and taking care of her
This is so important! After my second daughter my husband and I had such a long conversation about helping especially those first few weeks postpartum. He took a whole month of with baby #3 and he really stepped up. He actually did a majority of the feedings and chores and watching our two toddlers so I could heal properly and not get too overwhelmed! It was amazing to finally be heard, seen and taken care of!
You are so correct!! Yes we spontaneously wakes to take care of the baby, so that’s why we may feel guilty when we rest, but this is not correct! We need take care of ourselves
So true! I’ve also learned that accepting help doesn’t make you less of a mom. Sometimes taking a break is exactly what you need to feel like yourself again. You don’t have to do everything yourself to be a good mom.
I totally understand this. I think sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the one who can do everything. I also have these whatifs in my head! But needing a break or letting someone you trust care for your daughter doesn’t make you any less of a good mom. We’re allowed to take care of ourselves too.
Good to hear that!! Having your partner truly step up and take some of that mental and physical load makes such a huge difference, especially when we are recovering. I’m still teaching my partner to do all these stuffs lol. Currently, he does these only if I let him to do it. Every mom deserves to feel seen, supported, and taken care of too.
It wasn’t till the third baby he started stepping up and truly understanding. Those first few weeks are crucial, especially for me who struggles with ppd and postpartum rage pretty bad…. He definitely learned from the other postpartum periods and really helped this time and I was so thankful but also super suprised
